Writing At It's Worst
by dsmldejection
Summary: Writing can push me over the edge. Chapter titles such as Semicolon: The Devil's Spawn & Mother Nature Hates My Guts. Some Twi references. I don't own. Don't like, don't read! Meant for writers to read, others welcomed.
1. Semicolon: The Devil's Spawn

From the beginning of time, man has wondered about the dreaded semicolon. Why someone would hate humanity enough to create it is beyond me. And despite it's unclear motives and constant miss-use, man refuses to flat out kill it. _Someone_ must be somehow attached to this demonic form of punctuation, for this is the only conclusion I can come to.

As a writer, I would never even think about attempting to use the dreaded semicolon. I use commas and colons, but never the semicolon. When I write a chapter for FanFiction, I self-check the chapter several times before using spell checker. If I was not human, I would not use the spell checker, but my hatred for _it _will be discussed in a future chapter. No matter how sure I am of the accuracy of my writing, there is always _something_ wrong. This something, is _always_ the semicolon. 'No, I do not want to enter a semicolon!' I tell the spell checker. I repeat the exact words every chapter and yet it doesn't seem to catch a hint. Now I have reduced to literally _yelling_ at the computer screen to stop suggesting the semicolon. The effort is wasted.

So my mission now is to stop the semicolon from plaguing future generations of writers. My plot for the downfall of the semicolon is still at work, but the plan will be perfected in good time. I hope that those of you who read this, will take action with me to stop the semicolon in it's 'nearly-a-colon-but-not-quite' steps.

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Okay, so this was my first chapter for the little story of rants. I'd love to hear your views on the issues expressed here. So please, PM me or review or something, so that I can know I'm not alone on these issues.


	2. Mother Nature Hates My Guts

Mother Nature is my enemy. Most find no harm in believing in Mother Nature, so they nearly worship her in her ways of causing the weather to change. I used to be the same way. 'Oh, thank you!' I would yell to the skies when the weather cleared before my flight took off. 'Mother Nature, I appreciate the kind gesture!'

Months ago, I came to a conclusion as to why things like Global Warming and such were happening. The answer: Mother Nature has a big head. When she has a bad day at work, what does Mother Nature do to unwind? 'Torture the little things on Earth!' she yells. 'I'll send a tornado to NYC and watch them squirm!' What does Mother Nature do when she's got a bad case of the heart-break-blues? Well, melt the polar ice caps some more, of course! And now my writing has been suffering due to this realization.

I sit down to write at least once a week. Sometimes I write a chapter, sometimes more. Especially when I plan to do a lot of writing, saving my work tends to slip my mind. As soon as I've finished my third chapter of the day, a freak thunderstorm hits. And what do I do, despite the downpour and lighting outside my feeble window? I continue my writing, without as little as a glance at saving. And then it happens. A flash outside my window, and then all is dark in my home. 'Dammit!' I yell. 'Why didn't I save my work?' I sob as I stare at the black computer monitor and wish I'd just saved, for god's sake.

What does Mother Nature have to do with this, you ask? She knows I've figured out her secret. Now that I know her plans, she wants to make my life a living hell. Why? Because Mother Nature hates my guts! And because she can't effect my reading, she goes for the next best thing: my writing. Half of what I write is a second draft, for the first was so carelessly lost in the thunderstorm.

So I hereby say, Mother Nature, this has to stop. Why can't you just let it go? You're worse than a moody teenager!


	3. The Retarded Spell Checker

My hatred for the spell checker has been mentioned in an earlier chapter. Despite my thorough checks, spell checker laughs in my face with every chapter I write. 'See, dsmldejection? You're not as smart as you thought!' Shame engulfs me and I begin the ten minute spell check. By the end, I am furious with spell checker. 'You said there was something wrong!' I yell. 'I didn't mean seem instead of Esme or want to add a semicolon!' Yet it laughs in my face and continues to tell me I'm wrong. It temps me, whispering in my ear. 'Break the computer. Then you won't have to listen to me.' Even now it laughs at me, waiting for the moment I think I'm done to tell me it thinks otherwise. But the joke is on you, spell checker. I'm not using it for this story. I apologize to my readers if the writing is amazingly horrible, but I refuse to use it. And that is that.

But now looking back on the spell checker, I have to wonder... Do writers have the problem of dealing with the dreaded thing? I can't imagine a writer wanting to continue after writing a paragraph with this thing. I would rather revert back to a type writer than write a book on the computer in a document that uses spell checker. I'm nearly tempted to write authors asking this question. If they do use spell checker, do they hate it as well? Have they broken things or cried themselves to sleep as I have? I need to know! Who else deals with the retarded spell checker?

A/N: -Recovers from painfully long laughing fit- Okay, you guys obviously find no interest in this story. The only one who's reviewed is my dearest hopefully soon to be co-writer KiwiCantDance-x. I'm glad it was her, but still it would be great to have someone else review. I don't care, because I'm going to continue this until I run out of ideas.

-dsmldejection


	4. My Five Year Old Brother Hates Reading

Brother-sister rivalry has never been as fierce as it is now, in my home. FanFiction has taken a front seat place in my heart. I cannot stop the constant flow of ideas for a new story. Keeping pad and pen nearby is a must throughout my day. I spend most of my nights writing, as I do now at this hour of one in the morning. As a result, sleeping happens from four AM to about noon the next day. I try to keep a social life of some type as well, so most of my days do everything but center around my family. My dad is home at night and my mom understands. I was basically the best baby a mother could ask for, so she doesn't ask for anything. As long as I help around the house here and there, I have few huge boundaries. Actually, one huge boundary. My little brother.

He clings to me as if I were going away forever and won't leave my side. When friends come over, he bombards their attention and leave me in the back round. I can deal with all of that as long as he lets my writing be. And my writing starts at about seven at night, three hours before he goes to bed. Throughout those three hours, I hear 'I hate your reading' at least one hundred times. He thinks I am reading, and if it competes with my attention, he hates it.

I feel almost responsible for this dislike, but can't stop the writing. I play with him as much as I can, and yet he won't leave me alone. My brother's game is to run into my room and press as many keys on the keyboard as possible. Please, oh please, could someone buy me a cage? Not a small cage. Merely a cage that is somehow sound proof but lets him breathe, and can fit in my closet. If I could get one thing for my birthday or Christmas or what ever, I would ask for the cage.

But that would be 'Child Cruelty'

Damn the Child Protection Agency.


	5. Music, My Worst Enemy, or a Best Friend?

I have most of my preferences nearly decided on when it comes to writing. Plenty of light, a clean and clear workspace, no television on in any room near me where I could hear, my instant messenger set on invisible. But one detail ceases to enrage or assist me. Music, my worst enemy, or a close friend? I can come to no conclusion when it comes to this seemingly minor detail.

My music consists of three things, my iPod, the radio, and whatever is on my myspace. At this moment in time, I'm listening to my iPod, ranging from Jane's Addiction, to Coldplay, to Limp Bizkit, and everywhere in between. This is my usual choice when it comes to choosing music, but one dilemma shows it's ugly head. Lots of what I have on my iPod, I usually don't like listening to. This consists of Panic! At The Disco and Beatles, to name a few. I like these a lot, but only listen to them when I am severely in the mood. Also, they play much quieter than the others, and it sucks to constantly adjust the volume. So I narrow the list down to one band. This is not a favored option for me. I grow tired of something playing continuously very quickly, so I find myself adjusting the play list as often as adjusting the volume.

When it comes to the radio, I listen to one station only. It is the local alternative rock station. I like it a lot, but they play a lot of the same stuff over and over again. I swear to god, if I hear the Flobots song Handlebars one more time, I'm going to throw something at my wall and hope to got it bounces back and hits me in the face. I liked it a lot in the beginning, but now the limited play list gets to be easily. In addition, my parents hate it and are constantly coming into my room to complain to me to turn it down. My music _has_ to be loud. If it weren't it wouldn't drown out my life.

Finally, the play list on my myspace. My personal myspace has usually one to three songs on it, which conflicts with the repetition problem again. So my recent buddy has been the Twilight Fanfiction Myspace (see my page for a link). I've created this with a fellow writer and the play list is the combined play lists of Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn that Stephenie featured on her website. The music is exactly my style, and it's long enough to relieve repetition. But still, this music distracts me. Most of it is somewhat depressing as far as I'm concerned, so I find myself huddled on the corner of my bed, writing depressing poems and descriptions of my mental state. This is in no means productive to updating stories.

And after all the ranting about music, it seems to me that music is officially a con. So I turn off the music and write, the only noise being my keyboard as I push each key down forcefully and meaningfully. All an attempt to get out whatever it is that I'm thinking. And I can feel myself going insane. If I were to spend the hours I spend writing all in complete musical silence, I would be back, huddled on the corner of my bed and making clicking sounds with my tongue. So that would make music a pro, right?

So now, you see my confusion. After close examination, I still find myself sitting here wondering:

Music, my worst enemy, or a close friend?

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A/N: Really long chapter! Go me! You can tell this one holds much space in my mind, which is why it was so much longer than my other quarrels.

Once again, way to go guys! Zero reviews! I think that has to be an all time low. I mean, there couldn't be negative reviews, right? Who the hell am I talking to?

Thanks,

-dsmldejection


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